Rage Comics That Poop Was Good Ill Take It Again

This feature was originally published on November 14th, 2007. Holy Lord, Rob Liefeld is bad at cartoon. I mean, holy shit ... I'll stop. Just read this. Information technology's awesome. Also, yous can find the sequel, 40 MORE of the worst Rob Liefeld drawings, right HERE. - Ed.

This is Rob Liefeld. If that doesn't tell yous everything you demand to know about Rob Liefeld ... well, I'm sad for this in accelerate.

Comic books exploded when I was nigh ten years old. They'd always been popular and we'd always collected and enjoyed them, simply a surge of popularity brought out collectors and special editions and all the shit nosotros've learned to deal with from breakfast cereals and television punditry. Kids were replaced by old men with backing boards, and somewhen the kids and the old men became one, and 9 out of 10 kids you met collected comics for the money they'd never see and gave you the most turd-burgling stink-eye if you lot took the literally, figuratively, and creatively worthless SPIRITS OF VENGEANCE out of its polybag. It was a yard and miserable time for all involved, and as a effect now Spider-Human being wears flight armor and the skillful writers we lost, guys like Alan Moore, are busy writing graphic novels about how Snowfall White loves fucking the Seven Dwarves in a metaphorical Futurity Paris or any.

Y'all don't need to know nigh this. Comics were one time for kids and at present they're for the adults who loved them as kids merely suddenly became adults with no upwards motivation. Talented people did and still work on comics and every bit immature and goofy as any hobby can exist, they should be respected and admired for their piece of work. We don't hate comics. I'm a little more bitter most the loss of innocence than Beak, only we both don't appreciate Garth Ennis having Superman demand blowjobs in a comic and expecting people to telephone call him a genius.

People do. People suck.

And and then, there'south Rob Liefeld. You know how people draw comics? Rob doesn't do that. He had his ain Levi'southward commercial directed by Spike Lee in the 90s. He had best-selling comic books. He was a revolutionary and helped co-found Image Comics when all the hot artists ditched their classic gigs (like Spider-Man, the X-Men, and, uh, Guardians of the Galaxy) for creator-owned projects. But he doesn't "draw" comics. Oh God, no.

Just... ugh, just let me evidence yous.

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Scientific Podcast Goes Boink, Episode 168

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twoscore.

The most important affair you demand to know before reading well-nigh all the terrible things Rob Liefeld has drawn is that he has never seen or talked to a adult female in his life and has no thought what they expect like or how their bodies operate. If you asked Rob Liefeld to describe a diagram of the uterus he'd put on a pair of gauntlets and punch the shit out of your chalkboard. This is how the man operates, and though I know it sounds similar a lot, you have to believe me. I don't desire you lot looking at the stuff he'south cartoon and think he's a conscious developed male with a creative job who can and has influenced the minds of immature artists. The man is a pair of bluish jeans with a confront. He has on a backwards cap, and when he turns it around, it's still backwards.

Got information technology?

Okay. The #40 spot is a catch-all for "whatever time Rob Liefeld has ever drawn a woman." Nosotros get more specific from here, simply if we didn't lump these together the entire list would be broken spines and colossal hooters.

I geniunely feel these are mistakes.

This is what a woman looks similar to Rob Liefeld. I can't even kid nearly this. Information technology's fucking ridiculous. Fucking ricockulous. She's wearing a string of pouches where her stomach should only could non perchance exist and both her thighs and forearms are larger than her abdomen. She has a big ole donkey and torpedo tits, and I geniuenly retrieve that when Rob finished drawing her he sat back, frowned, looked over at his friend, and said "yikes, sorry, guy."

Then he started cartoon teenagers for DC Comics.

No kidding. What we're exploring isn't an creative person we don't like. Nosotros fence about that. Bill will similar ane guy and I'll like another, merely generally we don't wish ill on the guys nor do we hope for their gainful unemployment. We're exploring something and so abstruse and offensive that our Mortal Kombat-ridden babyhood comes dorsum to uppercut off our level heads three times and rip out our spine. In that sentence, "spine" is meant to represent "holy shit what is incorrect with fucking Rob Liefeld."

39.

WHO INDEED

This is a good introduction to how Rob Liefeld, and indeed just virtually any comics artist in the early nineties, approached their medium: Brand it as "dynamic" and "gritty" as possible. In this case, "dynamic" involves a whole shitload of lines on the face up, some foreboding shadows obscuring the general middle-of-the-face expanse, and a background that I guess implies he is sitting in front of an enormous Bengal tiger. Also of note: the fingers of Stryfe'south left paw hither all taper down in size from index to pinkie, you know, as fingers do. There is also some crazy shit going on backside that binder in the general gauntlet/forearm area. When I endeavor to draw, I oftentimes fuck upwards a line and am like, "Oh shit, that's not how those parts of the body connect," and then I describe like two or 3 lines to endeavour to embrace it upwards but it just looks shitty. I can excuse it because 1. I am ordinarily but drawing in ballpoint on my folder or something and 2. I am not a professional artist. Rob Liefeld, by contrast, draws a gauntlet going into the forearm all fucked-up in pencil. At that indicate, he and so goes PFFFFT FUCK It and then inks over it and sends it to the colorist. And then he GETS PAID FOR DOING THAT.

38.

You know what Rob Liefeld hates drawing? Anxiety. On this cover for 10-Strength #three, Rob is depicting a battle taking place betwixt the titular team and internet darling The Juggernaut (who amongst usa walks, apparently). They all announced to be battling atop some sort of boulder, which serves the purpose of covering up the feet of Juggernaut, Warpath, and Cablevision.

"Oh shit, gotta get Domino on at that place too, tin't accept an Ten-Forcefulness embrace without tits. Shit, the "ground" I drew didn't achieve over to where I'chiliad putting her. Oh, fuck information technology, she'll be crouching. You can crouch in the air, correct?"

Okay so counting Cannonball, that's five grapheme'due south feet taken care of. That other Juggernaut foot he can get abroad with, because perspective! Kinda. Ah, shit, gotta put Shatterstar on the cover! Nothing sells comic books in 1991 similar a dude in a billowy silk shirt and some swords! Well he's kind of, I dunno, either jumping in for some kinda Jody Fleisch seated dropkick or getting punched past Juggernaut. Check out his greatcoat but coming straight out of the dorsum of his head. Liefeld picks that fucked-up pose and everything seems to be going well (equally far equally Liefeld goes), and then he gets to the anxiety and sort of panics. "GAH I'll just draw an elongated Pac-Human being and a kidney bean."

Cheque out Spider-Man swinging in on a jungle vine. Jesus Christ Liefeld drew a dog'due south hindquarters on him. Just straight-upwardly a domestic dog's ass and legs.

37.

YOUNGBLOOD

DEATHSHOT

DEATHMATE RED

THIS BLOOD'S FOR Yous

Shit, who needs to explicate why they're jumping together in front of a yellow wall with a spotlight on them, it's Expiry Blood MATE SHOT RARRRRHHH

Quick question: Why does Rob Liefeld think guns take two spots at the end of the barrel for bullets to come up out?

36.

Boy can old Rob design a costume! Let's encounter, half-jacket, turtleneck, matching trip the light fantastic toe troupe gloves and oh aye GIGANTIC Expanse. Apparently the groundwork artist for this panel was Harold, who was kind enough to lend his magic crayon to the scene. Hey, no feet in this one! Score! Oops, nevertheless managed to fuck up Deadpool'due south manus pretty bad, though. Oh well, I'm sure too many people will be unable to tear their optics from that jutting gray package to give a shit.

35.

I would exist remiss if I did not mention one of Liefeld's more brilliant creations, Forearm! His ability is that he has FOUR ARMS. practice you realize the subtle pun that forearm

Seriously, that'due south the dude'south unabridged shtick. He's a stiff guy who has iv artillery. No backstory, zero remotely interesting most him. He would only show upwardly and grin cockily and bearhug someone, and then Colossus or Warpath or someone would common cold-erect him and whoop, there goes Forearm. Liefeld pretty much specialized in creating characters that no 1 could give half a fuck about, and then took that to new levels when he helped kickoff Epitome, which was like an entire company dedicated to that principle.

Go on in mind that dude created a guy with 4 arms and, as evidenced in this panel, has no god damn clue how to draw a guy with iv arms. "What practise you mean where is that arm coming from? Lay off me asshole I have to draw similar TWENTY PAGES this calendar month."

34.

In this comic, X-Force leader Cablevision (worse than the previous leader, Network) and Domino (with the proportional strength and speed of Petey from Our Gang) enjoy a steam bath. As we know from LIVING ON THE PLANET Earth, water is varying shades of greenish, opaque, and gives off swirling plumes of fume when heated. But some of those smoke plumes are coming from off screen, then perhaps there are a bunch of humongous bathtubs in the room or maybe someone is throwing decorative curtains.

I've seen my share of X-Strength covers. Domino is supposed to be nearly one/8th the size of Cable. Perhaps the top role of the bathtub is closer to us than the bottom, and we're looking at it from some weird 6/4ths upside down birds eye view. Domino is right, though, she'southward getting as well old for these kinds of workouts. Information technology'southward making her thighs look like fucked up loaves of bread and stretchmarks yous could utilize to measure out the acme of your children. I remember Rob started drawing the panel, realized he sucked at drawing h2o, merely needed to keep drawing lines SOMEWHERE and so the people around him would call up he was working hard on that water.

lol but cheque out that sexy dialogue

33.

That gun is totally bending in the middle, right? It's not just me?

What are those sticks that are coming out of Cablevision and Deadpool's rucksacks? Swords? Knives? Novelty cigars? Why does Cable take HAL 9000 on his back? Why is Cable six times bigger than Deadpool? Jesus Christ look how large his left arm must be.

A fun Liefeld drinking game: take a shot for every pouch he draws on a character. Oh great, now yous have alcohol poisoning.

32.

In "How to Draw Comics the Marvel Style," "Drawing Comics in the Manner of Detective Comics Comics," "Aping Shit the Valiant Way," and every other cartoon tutorial I've been a office of, information technology clearly says that every line y'all draw on a person's face adds to their age. When yous're drawing children or sexy young women y'all give them clean surfaces to advise youth and a tightness of veins, and when you draw Clint Eastwood in an eyepatch hanging out with Gen 13 you lot draw all over his face to let people know he's one-time. Depending on who yous talk to, every line can equal a year added onto the life of your character.

Shaft, the young leader of rogue operative team "Youngblood," is 900 years old. And he'south looking through really fine blinds. Too, his caput is on fire. Paradigm Comics is about living for the moment and taking it to the extreme, they didn't have time to larn that when you stick your head in a shadow it blocks the lite on both your confront AND your hair. Doing enquiry for the Panthera leo King? Let Disney Comics become to fucking Africa and look at how lions work, draw the lion from a signal of view no human can come across, and when the ink is nevertheless moisture, run a rummage over it.

Isn't it funny that when asked to create a universe of characters for his own comic book line Rob Liefeld draws a guy who looks exactly like Rob Liefeld and names him "Shaft?"

31.

You know what? Even if this dude weren't Quadzilla there'south no way he'd exist able to put his legs together with all those pouches and garters and whateverthefucks. Jesus, expect how high upward that one ring around his leg is. What purpose could that possibly serve? His pants are so uncomfortably tight that his groin is puckering into some sort of overachieving asterisk. His belt is juuuuuuuust under his nipples. The existent capper, though, is the kneepads. What the fuck must go through Liefeld's head when he's cartoon a grapheme? "Yes, coiffure cut, I'll put Boba Fett's rocket on his back. Hmm, oh, GOTTA go with the metal shoulderpads and enormous Run-DMC gold rope chain. Okay, chugalug…uh…pouchespouchespouchespouchespouchespouches leg things, oh, KNEEEEEEPADSSSSSS yessss." In determination, I hate Rob Liefeld and he should be thrown in a well.

Go on reading: twoscore through 31 | 30 through 21 | 20 through 11 | The 10 worst

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Source: https://www.progressiveboink.com/2012/4/21/2960508/worst-rob-liefeld-drawings

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